This feels like being handed a pile of poo, calling it a road apple and trying really hard to convince you it is a real apple.  This is marketing, PR and branding gone so bad the powers that be have actually convinced themselves their ‘stuff’ smells of roses.

Credit:theleetgeeks

People are like music.  We all have common themes or melodies in life.  However they come out slightly different for each one of us.  It is very much is our music we sing, play, rage out to the world.  One common theme I see in men’s lives sometimes comes out as ‘The lazy bastard’.  L-B, for short,  is not the real theme, it is a version of the theme.  There is a big difference between theme and the themes orchestration.

Let’s go back to the music analogy and take Metallica’s The Unforgiven for example..

On the left is a “classical” version of The Unforgiven.  You can mistake it for the work of a postmodern composer. Nope, it is just a pretty up-ed version of the suicidal metal rock classic.  Which version you enjoy is part choice, part culture, and part understanding.

But what if you don’t know there are options to choose between?  You pick the only one you know, as crappy as it sounds to you.

I have yet to meet a man who deeply enjoys being a lazy bastard.  They are a L-B, but they don’t want to.  Somewhere hope left  them. They longer have a sense of true purpose in their life.  All men want to accomplish.  Don’t believe them when  told they don’t want to.

It is self-defense from trying and failing over and over.  It is like having the wind knocked out of you by an invisible man who sucker punched you in the stomach.  A cheap shot.  A cheap shot by something you can’t see. Near impossible to defend against .  So they give up.

I’ll tell you another theme I learned.  No man wants to give up.  Once you dig deep in to L-B lives you’ll see an inner battle.  One side does not want to give up the fight, the other says why try.

Lazy-Bastardness is hopelessness orchestrated as unavoidable failure.  Other men live in hopelessness through anger by ruthlessly doing more.  This is the song of snake-oil sales men and crooked stockbrokers.   For these men the fighter wins out over compassion.  Surviving comes by activity taking from others.  L-B passively take from others.  Both are a display of hopelessness and insignificance.

What to do now..

I know what not to do; poke at a man’s lazy-bastardness.  It is like telling a woman she is fat.  She already knows more than you know.  No reminder are necessary.   The song is already playing on repeat in our heads.

Instead give courage.  Encourage new songs. (Maybe you need to learn new songs too.)  But don’t start with Beethoven complexity.  This is where people mess up.  Two fingers plunking out a small melody is a good start.  Learning to orchestrate  takes time.

Here is a true secret to life:
True value is not found in what you do.  It is found in why you do it.

Here is a sad fact in life:
Most people don’t know their true value.

Here is a fun fact of life:
You see the true value in people all day long.  You can shock people and put them in a bit of awe by telling them what they can not figure out themselves.

Every time you notice somebody do anything with grace, expertise and seeming effortlessness you are noticing true value.  Sometime we feel inspired when we notice true value. Other times we are left mystified.  We admire how they are able to easily do with joy what we struggle and curse at.

It is not just what they do.  It is why they do it.

The evidence of true value is in what they easily do better than the average person.  The actual true value comes from behaviors set by personality, natural talents and passion.   It is the why behind what they do so well.

It is instinctual.

No really… The parts of your brain which ‘control’ behaviors (Limbic/archipallium) are separate from the logic/language part (neocortex).  This is reason most people do not understand their true value.  It is not logical and very difficult to put words to.

There is another reason our true value is self-elusive.  It is easy for us to think nothing of it.  We believe everybody is the same. Have you ever had this thought toward someone, “What do you mean you don’t understand how I did it?”  That is your true value shining through.  Your gift to the world is to easily do with joy what few others can. You make the world a better place by doing what others can not.  You just don’t realize it.

Before you go and get a big head about how you do something better and easier, remember everybody can do something you can not.  They are making your life easier too.

So next time you see a barista handle five angry patrons with a honest smile and quick work, a secretary find your lost paper work, or a CEO direct 10 independent brilliant minds in a unified direction, point it out.  Tell them they have a gift.  Be bold and confidently admit they are better than you.  And don’t stop with telling them what they do so well.  Tell them how they do it and how it affects you too.

Shock them by explaining what they think is a throw away attribute, is important to you.  Make them feel a humble awe that by simply living they change the world.

Do you think this is silly?  Then think about how you need to hear the same message.

I had a client Josh, who was a nice guy. Everybody thought Josh should be able to get a job because he is a really nice guy. He has such a wide variety of skills one would think he would be hired quickly. When he came to me he said “I don’t understand why nobody wants to hire me? I’ve been unemployed for 18 months and have almost landed 4 jobs, but it seems I’m always the runner up. I do a good job and don’t ask for much. ”

I replied, “There is your problem. You are not asking for anything. You are too nice. You are probably not telling people what you want to do and what you are good at.” Josh looked at me as if I was asking him to be immoral, as if I was asking him to ask for more than his fair share and to brag. That is not nice behavior for most people.

To many men this seems greedy and counterproductive. Years of modern social conditioning have led us to believe if you are nice and not pushy, you will be rewarded. In kindergarten if we were quiet and patient while waiting in line we were rewarded with praises and prizes. Parents often did the same. The pushy braggers were sent to the back of the line or pointed out to us as spoiled children. Advance 20 or 30 years and most men are still living by grade school ethics. (This is true for most areas of men’s lives.)

Most of us expect our bosses, superiors and hiring managers as well as spouses to naturally see the best in us and reward us for waiting our turn. This is what nice guys do. Rather think of what a hiring manager wants to hear. They want you to make it easy for them. Explain to them what you can do, why you are good at it and why it would be beneficial to hire you. When you do this well, you can ask for much because you ARE worth it and you have just proved it

So what became of Josh? In our first meeting I showed him how to see value in himself mainly through the DISC profile. Then we discussed how to communicate his value and patterns of success in terms an employer wants to hear. We just barely touched on the importance of being assertive (at the right time) in asking for fair compensation before our time was up. This was all he needed. In a brief email Josh thanked me for my coaching and apologized for not getting back to me sooner. The week after we met he started a series of interviews and was hired. He admitted it was hard to brag of his ability, but was thankful for the result.

Most people do not truly understand their value and are run over by life. They do not know they are being run over because they are unaware their value is being trampled on. They just think, “Guess it is not my turn yet. I’ll be nice and wait my turn.” Stop being nice. Start understanding yourself and the value you have to give. Start earning what you deserve.

I used to think monsters were only make believe and for children, but they are real and they exist at your work.

I’m on a plane bound for Dallas Texas to visit a friend and mentor.  Enter Lewis Gordon, size 50 shoulders, full, thick beard with strands of curly silver woven within.  The plane is nearly full and he eyes the open middle seat next to me.  He then perceives all 6 foot 5 of me.

Dr. Lewis Gordon (Used with permission)

A look flashes in his eyes, acknowledging it would take a crowbar to wedge our larger-than-average frames together.  He politely suggests he will find a more comfortable spot, but as he looks around, every seat as been filled by impatient travelers.

As Mr. Gordon sits, he offers up a verbal shoehorn to help ease both of us into the tight fit. Pointing at the book in my hand, he asks, “What are you reading?”
“’Masterful Coaching’. It’s something for my business.  What do you have there?”  I asked as I reciprocated the pointing.
“Oh something I wrote. It is on how humanity no longer listens to monsters and the monsters have lost their voice.”

“What?!”, I thought to myself.  “ Did we once hear monsters, and why does it matter?”  Lewis insists it does matter, and it matters more we no longer are paying attention.  Monsters are an actual warning.

He begins to lay out the facts:  The word “monster” comes from the Latin root “monere”, which means a warning or omen.  In antiquity (roman and Greek stories) monsters were a warning to humanity that some disaster was about to occur unless humans did something quickly to change their ways.  Through stories, monsters represented real world issues.

By now I have learned Mr. Gordon is actually Dr. Gordon of Temple University, Brown University and the University of West Indies in Jamaica.  He received his doctorate of philosophy from Yale at age 31.  Atypical of some heady philosophers, when we are talking, I’m not talked down to.  Nor does he expect me to “know” his world of academics, and he easily explains a term or concept unfamiliar to me.

At one point, Dr. Gordon states, “Disasters are the fault of humans, because they don’t listen to the warnings.”  I was perplexed at how this man could make a broad, flippant remark, so I asked for an example and he referred to Haiti.  “The same (magnitude) earthquake happened in San Francisco, and it had little impact.”  I objected to his example saying a “natural disaster” was out of the realm human influence.  That is where he had me.  Dr. Gordon pointed out “natural events” humans can not control, but “natural disasters” are indeed our fault.  Going back to Haiti. “Pressures were placed on Haitians to cut corners, to have few options but to have a near nonexistent infrastructure through which, as in San Francisco, they are able to have quakes without fatalities.”   It would not have been a disaster had people lived by a higher moral standard.  (My comment) If you are thinking poverty prevented them from resources, ponder which came first, corruption or poverty?  Then ponder what we are headed towards in America.

This brought him to his point of why monsters have lost their voice: The world is saying intellect is more important than morals.  (I will write on this in in the next postings).  People would rather been seen as smart than moral.  Monsters are a symbol of immorality, and when people are looking to be more intelligent, they are not listening to the language monsters speak.

Monsters are not immoral in of themselves; they are a symptom of things gone badly.  Some come to right wrongs, and others are the direct product of destructive behavior.  Again, they are a warning life is out of balance.

Dr. Gordon never spoke of Judeo-Christian values directly, nor said the Haitian’s suffered because of their own corruptness alone (like some TV evangelists).  His message is more global and broad.  We, as a whole, are responsible to care for those around us by doing what is right, not what is only smart.  Being smart is not always right.  Hedging bets at the possible expense of others… covering your back… watching out for your career by positioning another person out… squeezing out every drop of profit… “I should do this even if I don’t want to because it is the smart, socially acceptable move”.  These are all examples of what is smart, but is not always right.

My mind easily turned to the work place.  When I talk to people about the discontent they have feel about work, they are unknowingly talking about monsters.  Huge looming issues and concerns that do not go away. The trouble is most discontent workers are trying to out think the symptoms and missing the message of what needs to be done to do right.  Instead of listening, they react by thinking a better position, more money, extra time off, or a new company will make the pain go away.  Then disaster strikes.  Sometimes they are laid off or fired.  It can be as simple as being passed over for promotion.  Sometimes divorce transpires from the imbalance between home and work life.  They missed the warning and are now stunned at how it could have all happened.

Here are the two messages I know to be missed the most often:

1. There is something wrong with the way the company and I fit.
2. There is something wrong with the way I fit in my position.

Each requires a different solution and often the solutions are mixed up.  Yes, the answers have a moral core.  Before reacting, listen to which monster is calling your name.  It could be both.  Even when you know which one it is, seek to know why.  The why is always more important than the what.

In part 2 we will look at your moral obligation to follow your heart at work.

~cb

Dr. Lewis Gordon was a high school teacher in NYC where he founded the Second Chance program.   Started grad school at 28 to explore the problem of human potential.  Written 11 books and is the Director of the Institute for the Study of Race and Social Thought at Temple University.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. Gordon you can visit his Temple University website page.

The andon board that lights up when the cord is pulled to halt the assembly line.

Pish-posh is what I say. Toyota will come out better because they are returning to their core values. Toyota has an industry unique manufacturing process. Anybody on the manufacturing line has the power to stop everything at anytime for any reason. One lowly worker putting on the Toyota decal can shut down the plant if the decal has a defect by pulling the Andon cord. The decal is not a critical part of the car, but it represents quality, a core value of Toyota.

Here is Toyota’s reason for giving so much power to someone in a lowly position. Taiichi Ohno created the Toyota Production System and had a great ha-ah moment in his career. Give workers the ability to take control and the factory stops producing unnecessary items. Before workers where told “just do this job, and focus on productivity.” But what they produced was lots of unwanted products.

I’ve seen a lot of job hunters strive for productivity (money) and end up making themselves into a product nobody wants to buy. “ I don’t need to worry about what I do, I must just do a job.” Even in their job search they will take quantity (any job) over quality (a fitting job). The reason for falling into this trap is they have lost touch with their core values, or possibly never knew what they were.

How do you get back to quality? Pull the Andon Cord in your life and stop everything. Stop trying to grasp for salvation and the instant fix by chasing numbers. Ignore the experts who say stopping and changing directions is a fatal drastic move. Remember and/or find out what you do best and return to it. If you don’t know start by taking the DISC profile test (ask me) and get a copy of Strengths Finder 2.0 from Amazon.   Ask your friends, past colleagues and family what you do best. You might be surprised to hear what you are good at seems almost common place to you. We often overlook our best gifting. Then start doing again what you do best.

Give yourself the power to control the assembly line of your life and say I’ve got a problem here and I can’t go forward until it is fixed.

Toyota is doing what they do best, stopping everything until it is fixed. This time it is the whole US division. Here is an interesting fact: each year when the North America Toyota plant’s quality dropped to the bronze level as judged by JD Power Awards, the next award Toyota received  improved to gold. In 2009 they received only bronze. Want to take a bet on what award they will earn in 2010?

Now, go do like wise.

Gary at St. Louis World's Market (for the wine)

I enjoy getting surprise good news. The kind of where you want to drop everything and pay attention. I’m on Lewis Howes’ mailing list. If you don’t know, Lewis is the LinkedIn specialist. About once every 3 months the native St. Louisian hosts a “LinkedIn” networking party here in the land of the Arch. I was unaware of the party tonight and he kindly sent me a reminder, like any good social media expert would do. I was going to pass up on the party as I have been to the last 3 then I saw Gary Vaynerchuk would be speaking. All my plans changed and found myself magically ironing my shirt and taking a shower.

1 hour later in the truck, I’m driving, feeling like a 5th grade boy on the way to Disneyland and hoping Micky is as cool in person as he is in the cartoons

After about 2 hours of signing books Gary put down his pen, stood up on the chair and started off something like this. “After signing most of your book, it sounds like most of you know what my book is about, so I won’t talk about that. Instead I’ll tell you something nobody has asked me before….” And this is where it starts to get good. You felt like he was about to tell you secret nobody else did.

Gary begins to describe how many interviews he has done, from bloggers with 3 followers, to big name media outlets like Wired, yet none of them ask why the work “now” is highlighted on his book  Crush it!

See green "now"

Before he tells us the reason why, Gary conveys his astonishment several times, nobody asked him about the ‘now’. Like at good joke set up he makes us want to beg for the punch line and he drags it out a bit longer. He expands on his astonishment more talking about how it is so obvious yet nobody sees it. I being to wonder just how important is it. What does he see nobody else can.

“Because if I wrote this book two years ago it would be shit.”

That is the only quote I can remember word for word. He believe it too, and then he makes us believe it. For 30 minutes straight Gary talks on the power of social media and why now is one of THE most important times in the history of humanity. In a nutshell we have just become so connected that word of mouth now is more prevalent than any other form of advertizing. Relationships matter once again. But this time it is more powerful. The corollary being: Now it is easier than ever to start your own business.

Gary put it this way. 2 years ago a New York socialite could tell 50 of her friends about the next best restaurant the next day after visiting it. Today an introverted kid who lives in the basement of his parents can tell 10,000 people in 5 minutes. Word of mouth advertizing (good or bad) will reach farther than a Super Bowl advertisement. At least that is why Gary thinks Pepsi decided not to put in Super Bowl ad for the first time in 23 years

I’m going to give you a top list of points I took away from the talk.
1. Social media forces good customer service.
Why? Because everybody is watching and knows who you are. Gary equated it with living in a small town. In a small town you are not going to get all up on somebody at the local bar, because everybody is going to know what you did. In a New York club, nobody is going to care. Social media forces service and product providers to live in a ‘small town’, or else. The good news being if you take care of your customers, it will get around.

Amazon just bought Zappos.com. Gary proclaimed Jeff Bezos the smartest CEO ahead of Steve Jobs for this move. Why? Even though Zappos has price points above the average shoe store (online or not), they took care of their customers. People want to be taken care of. “Don’t like your shoes?…, return them at no cost”. Just call up the customer care person who sounds like a sweet grandmother. She will make everything better.

2. The cost to entry is near zero.
That is right. Near zero. Think about it. What are you advertizing costs if you rely on word of mouth? Nothing. The cost of building a website in near nothing. There are so so many web hosts that have automated systems you don’t need to hire a programmer, like two years ago.

3. We are at the tip of a long tail of a trend and there is more low lying fruit than most people think.
This Web 2.0.. err.. social media.. err ok really it IS the media now. Think of a brontosaurus whose tail and back are like an outline on a growth chart for a new industry. The tail is the start and the back being the exponential growth of the industry. There is a long long run up before the big growth happens. Again using Gary’s paraphrased words, “If this is a football game and the beginning is singing the national anthem, the singer is just getting out the shower before getting into the car to drive to the stadium.

4. You can niche in almost anything and succeed, because you are passionate about it and the next guy is not.
You don’t have to worry about somebody stealing your idea. The passion you bring to your idea is what is going to keep you up late at night working. The guy who steals the idea will not have the drive. With the zero entry fee, the small guy with good word of mouth can win. The zero entry fee can allow you to work smart. Smart is what used to cost you the big dollars. Now everybody can work smart.

So what is there to do? Hard work, lots of hard work. It is easier than ever before to start your own business, but it will require hard work. Don’t quit your day job. But the good news is you can now keep your day job and work a few hours at night. Before you had to work extra hard to make up for not being able to work as smart. Why not just work extra smart. Once again Mr. Crush It put it well. Imagine him taking on a voice of a scoffer..“Well Gary I don’t need to work hard, I just need to work smart.” Returning to his normal self “Yeah well I work smart and hard. Now what are you going to do?”

Go crush it.