Don’t make these simple resume mistakes

Resume mistakes , the dreaded foe of the job hunter.  These silent killers will crush your job chances without you noticing what went wrong.  They are like the boogie monster in the job search closet. You can’t see them, you have heard horror stories, and you never know it is happening to you until it is too late.  Drama.

You should avoid resume drama, it is pointless and unnecessary.  I’m here to help, read on.

I opened my secret black book of HR and recruiting specialists and called 20 of them to learn the most common resume mistakes first hand.   I grilled them for the real gold. My goal is to find the type of resume errors where everything looks OK to the common man, but where insiders quietly whisper “Avoid this one.”

After talking to just 7 experts an immediate pattern appeared.  The rest of the calls solidified the trend.

Here are three resume mistakes and the quick solutions.

First of 3 Resume Mistakes to avoid:
Proof reading Spelling/Grammar mistakes

When I heard this resume boo-boo, I literally said “You are kidding right?  I want the good stuff. Everybody already knows to check for spelling and grammar.”   Even more unbelievable is the education level of those making this mistake.  College grads and post grads are the worst offenders.

‘Yeah, I feel really bad for them when I see an error”, an executive level recruiter told me.  “When I point it out they swear to have double checked and it passed the spelling and grammar check on their computer.”  Job hunters think because THEY checked, all the spelling mistakes will be seen.

Lesson number one: You are blind to your own resume mistakes. Don’t proof-read your resume.
Lesson number two: Technology is not a fail safe. Don’t let a computer proof-read your resume.

If you still think this situation does not apply to you, please take your right hand, reach up to your face, slap yourself and say “I will not proof read my own resume.” Have a professional or a friend who is comfortable with resume writing proof read your resume. A professional company like SOL or Elance.com will quickly fix resume mistakes for you by proof reading and editing to make it look professional.  My personal favorite is fiverr.com.  There are many seasoned Anti Resume Mistake Pros on fiverr.com. As always, buyer beware. Read the comments/reviews before picking someone. Looking for an approval rating in the 90s.

Second of 3 Resume Mistakes to avoid:
Resume Mistake #2: No PDFs !

The second resume mistake candidates make is sending a resume as a PDF. Microsoft Word is the defacto format of submitting your resume to a company or recruiter. Recruiters are particularly annoyed by PDFs.  Many recruiter’s have to convert your resume to their standard format, or a format hiring companies demand.  PDF’s are not cut and paste friendly.  If it takes too much effort to retype your resume, strangely your resume is overlooked and less qualified candidates take your interview spot.  Companies scan resumes for keywords to create an A-list of candidates. Some PDF formats can not be scanned.  This is bad news if you want to standout.  However if you enjoy the drama being silently rejected please continue to send PDFs.  Seek medical help too.

Third of 3 Resume Mistakes to avoid:
Resume Mistake #3: Vague Success

Another frustrating resume mistake is assuming a list of job duties is self-evident of the value you bring.  Your task is to clearly explain how you will bring success to a future employer.    Focus on the accomplishments in your previous jobs.  This is far more persuasive than listing job duties. Think about the “How” and “Why” you did your job.  Outline the efforts you did which earned the company more revenue, saved time or saved money.  Use your job duties as the context to explain how you creatively solved problems and built relations in the name of the company.  This type of resume writing instantly shows potential employers where you fit in the team.   Do list your computer skills on your resume. The exception is if you are an executive or a job is completely unrelated to computer use,  Employers love knowing what computer skills you have and the extra keywords will help your resume compete in a resume database.

One Halloween we slapped each other with freshly cooked thick strips of carne asada across the face. It seems like such a good idea. Confirmed! It turned into a JackAss moment, all caught on video. With full power, a tasty man snack turned into a tool of humiliation. Juices exploded and small chunks of meat imbedded in our beards. We laughed so hard people came running into the room to see what was going on. We tried to put on our best composure to re-enact the carnage, but we couldn’t stop laughing. Instead of a proper repeat meat beating, all we could muster up was a gay man’s limp writ slap. That made it funnier for us, and a disappointment/disapproval for them. The look on their faces doubled us over with glee.

I never did get a copy of that video, fucker.

I once bought the world’s hottest pepper at that time for us to eat raw. The ghost pepper or Bhut Jolokia chili is so hot Indians use it to ward off wild elephants in Northern India. Rated at over 1,000,000 scoville units, it is 7 to 10 times hotter than the habanero. This had all the makings of something going bad. We were always correct in deducing what situations would not end well. Trouble was we never could correctly predict how it would go wrong. That was the fun of being together. We would sit and think of all the consequence and plan for them and jump forward living life.

Knowing we were literally playing with fire, we wisely choose to eat just a scant sliver first. Slicing two paper-thin wafers, I took the first bite. Nibbling on the end like a mouse, I waited for the pain. Patrick’s face had devious joy all over it. He wanted to see me sweat. Feeling no (relative) pain, I popped the rest in. Munch, munch. A sweet taste rushed over my mouth quickly followed by a numbing sensation like somebody shoved a hot motorcycle tail pipe on my tongue.

Mmmm I said, with a big closed smile like it was not bad. If I opened my mouth I would spew obscenities like Captain Ahab finding out Moby Dick slept with his wife. The smile was a cloak to hide the forming tears.

I held out Patrick’s slice and he quickly grabbed it chewing down in full force. 3 seconds passed and his face became a ruddy shade of You deceiving son of bitch I’m going to kick your ass. He grunted like a mute retard “Muvha fua-ha” trying not to touch tongue or lips together. Patrick spun around opened the fridge and drank the gallon of milk, swishing it around in his mouth. He fanned his face like a menopausal woman having hot flashes.

I snickered at him with contempt. It was hot, but not so hot to turn into a wimp about it. Between gulps of milk and gaps for air I heard, “I wen to da denthist doday n had ma eeth cleaned.” Instantly I laughed and pointed as if he just was kicked in the nards by a donkey wearing a pink tutu while a fez hatted monkey hammered out a rimshot on a mini drum kit. You know the funniest thing ever. My eyes watered so much I couldn’t see. I could hear Patrick giggling between gurgles of milk bubbles. I wiped my one good eye clear of tears of joy so I could gaze upon my dear friend in pain and gloat more. Intense pain seared though my eye. My eye slammed shut as I doubled over in pain.

“I just wiped my GOOD eye with the fingers that touched the pepper. Fauak does it hurt.”

I heard a deep chuckle/gargle follow by the sounds of liquid being sprayed on the floor and horse coughing between desperate gasps for air and laughter. We laughed as brothers in co-pain on the couch for the next hour. But it was a good pain. It said we were alive and we did something few people would ever do. Our confidence and self-concept rose.

I could tell you story after story like that. For his birthday one year we traveled to Hannibal Missouri, birth place of Mark Twain. On Forth of July night in the middle of a steamy hot Missouri rain storm we had ourselves a roman candle fight. I forgot to reload at the right time in real life, as I did in the virtual world. Spotting the moment Patrick bounded over a hill with a banshee cry spitting fireballs from the end of a hot tube, charging like a revolutionary war solder. One bounced off my forehead and I ran in the opposite direction. Fear and joy coursed through my nerves mixing in an addictive cocktail. My emotions could not decide if I should laugh or cry. So I did both. I have never felt more alive. That was a major turning point. I knew I wanted to live. After the rain finished, thousands and thousands of fireflies came out. It was so bright you could walk the meadow by bug butt brilliance. Fireworks of the first kind. Awe swept into my spirit again. I knew I did want to just live, I wanted to be alive.

Patrick gave life to the people around him.

(On April 7th my best friend committed suicide.  This post series is the eulogy I gave at his memorial service.  Depression round his career played a major part in Patrick’s final choice.  A number of people said this eulogy helped them see depression in a new way and why someone could take their life.  You are welcome to write me if you have questions coach@christopherbrowning.com  ) 

“Fuck your choice, Patrick!” I screamed like a Turrets driven mad man in to the empty air. Nobody was around. The dog was visibly shaken by my torrent. Peaches, whom I sometimes referred to as “inconvenient truth” slinked off into a dark corner. The dog’s tail curled between its legs with a scared look like I was about to beat it for existing in the world. These were the first emotional words I spoke after processing my best friend’s hastily exit from physical life. I spoke and and said no more. It took a long time of thinking and talking before knowing what to say and feel emotionally.

I had plenty of emotions and felt them all. Trouble was I didn’t know which one was the ‘best’ one to identify with. The whole array of emotional-response masks laid before me. I’ve actively tried each on. Each one had a loop-hole of exception that wouldn’t make it fit. I saw all sides, but what was I to feel. I could not, not feel anything forever. I needed to feel something. I wanted to honor who he was without putting a load of smarmy sauce to sugar coat the situation.

Angry for his seeming selfish act of checking out is an easy one to want to fit . However I once was suicidal. I know personally how the demon of depression digs its claws into your brain. Those claws reroute logical thought. Rational becomes crazy talk. Irrational starts to make sense. The fog rolls in and blacks everything out. Food is sawdust, colors leach out of the brightest flowers. You know it is not right to be in this mess and you have to get out. Frantically stumbling around in your brain you look for any exit. There is one small door labeled “End it all”. It is so small you can barely see it at first. You pass it off knowing another door exists. It has to. You did not enter thought ‘that’ one and there is no way you can fit through it.

One simple definition of life is the ability to make decisions, to choose to do something and carry it out. Even a tree in a very crude way chooses what direction to reach down its roots for life-giving water. When we have repeated success in choosing a direction it builds our confidence, self-concept and meaning for life.

When you are stumbling around in your head trying anything without success, the irrational door grows. It is half your size, then it is 3/4, now equal to your height. What you don’t notice is the size of the door has not changed. You have shrunk along with your confidence and will to live. A frightening realization shocks your nerves. If you don’t take that door now you will shrink so small it will be impossible to reach the handle to only door you can find. Stuck forever knowing your life should mean something but you are powerless to do anything about it. You don’t want to take that door, but it is your only choice. How fantastic it feels at that point to know you can still choose do something and be successful.

Choosing death seems like you are choosing life. When you are this far down, the real you is not doing the thinking.

The irrational starts to make sense.

It was midnight, about 12 hours from when our exceptionally friend Natalie called to tell me the news. I love her for what she does best. She cares and loves people in ways few others ever will. Like an artisan well always bubbling forth, it never stops. It goes way beyond the typical caring of “Let’s make sure we at least check in and see if there is something they need.” Natalie will find a need, even if you can’t see it. She is insistent but never forceful or demanding. Asking her to turn off and ignore her proactive care is the highest form of physiological torment to put her through. Everyone needs to have at least three of these people in their life. We all have problems we are blind to. Simply pointing out problems hardly ever solves them. That is what makes Natalie exceptional. If you don’t like her suggestion, she still loves you. But it is a real close love. Walking with you, right next to your side as you wade through the crap you brought upon yourself.

This moment was no different. Her instinctual care kicked in. Sobs of grief in strength spoke the details of how Patrick was found. Natalie did the talking so Patrick’s ex-wife did not have to. Natalie was walking close to Breeah again, and for Patrick one last time. God how these types of people are the water of life to everyone around them.

I said you need at least three of these types of people in your life. Patrick is one of those in my life. I was an empty shell when I moved to St. Louis and without any close friends. My self-confidence was so low, I saw myself as a failure because I could not wipe off the counters correctly.
“What? Even this I can not do correctly. What good am I?”

I met Patrick in church. We questioned each other with looks of smug superiority and something clicked. Hanging out with Patrick gave me hope.

We bonded over our mutual love of root beer, eating really really hot things, fixing our Toyotas, Pappy’s BBQ, being male only-childern and relentless male ridicule. Then there was killing zombies. That was the best depression therapy.

Endless hour of killing zombies on Call of Duty Nazi Zombie bonus packs. There is nothing better to shoot than a Nazi Zombie. Even the most peaceful gun hating pacifist must logically conclude it is good to shoot those bastards, now no questions asked. They SHOULD already be dead and are back for indiscriminate genocide. Double evil deserve being double tapped. We were a team. Patrick took a defensive stance. I ran forward mowing down zombie hordes like the Grim re-reaper with a giant scythe. Yeah I constantly always had more kills than him, but I could never do it without knowing he had my back. He always had my back. Patrick picked off the Nazi undead which slipped through my shower of bullets. Patrick rushed forward to cover me when I carelessly forgot to reload between swarms. He revived me when hubris over estimated my abilities and one of the dirty undead infecting me with its cold touch. He stayed back protecting the safe hole, making sure we both had a place to retreat to when open ground was over run.

If he went down first, the game was soon over. It was Patrick’s defensive abilities which kept me alive. He kept us alive. Our off-line friendship was the same way.

His house was a safe hole for me. If I needed a place to get out of the world
it didn’t matter what time it was. The door was always open. Fridge was always stocked with root beer. Zombies waited to be slaughtered in the basement. Sometimes Patrick sent a simple text message, “Zombies?” as if it is an existential question.

My eye often gave me troubles when we were playing. He would pull the couch up close to the big screen TV before I noticed I was squinting. I think he could tell my game was starting to fade.

My truck would break down and Patrick offered up his drive way to revive the blue beast without me asking. Sometimes it took a week or longer. He loaned a car with no hesitation. Never once did he grumble. It was joy for him to offer help to those he cared for.

Sitting next to Patrick was pure brotherhood bliss. We sat for hours, not talking. It felt safe. This is what it looks for brothers to walk side by side in support. Nothing had to be spoke for complete understanding. He had my back, before I knew I was in trouble.

Then there was the shenanigans.

Part 2 Death of a Man

Episode 2: The Successful Man Podcast Show
John Murphy of StupidCreatures.com

If you have ever tried to make a living at art and wondered how you do then today’s podcast is for you. I interviewed John Murphy master and originator of StupidCreatures. He is the author of 4 books and co-author or contributor of 3 others books on creating .. well stupid creatures out of socks and other odd bits of clothing.

John shares his experience on how he started off at struggling art student in San Francisco to successful author and having a cult following for his art. He tells the dirty hidden secret about most artist who have ‘made it’, and the reality of their easy success.

Download show directly

Here is the link to John Murphy’s website StupidCreatures.com
 

A Small Collection of John Murphy’s books

Closet Monsters: Stitch Creatures You’ll Love from Clothing You Don’t


Stupid Sock Creatures: Making Quirky, Lovable Figures from Cast-off Socks

Download Show Directly

Show Summary:
Today kicking off the podcast series is my good friend Ryan Smith is on the show, He is also known as the Spinning Cook.  Married and Father of 3 in Portland Oregon.  His day job involves running the internet bits for a famous shoe company with a swoosh and is FAST making a name as the goto guy on how to cook fast healthy meals kids and men like together.

I’m thrilled to have Ryan on the show because he gives valuable solutions to a topic many men deal with: The loss of a dream and how to turn it into success.

Ryan shares his secrets on dealing with the inner conflict of a dying dream and the personal advice he received from author Donald Miller on how to create success from the left over pieces.

You will learn the 3 easy steps Ryan took to connect with a mentor that boosted his success in a short time.

Ryan’s Recipe for  Cracker Jack Style Caramel Corn (PDF)

It is a big deal.

Lord almighty you don’t want to pick the wrong one.  Imagine Stone Cold Steve Austin prancing into the ring to the sounds of Bette Midler’s “The Rose”.  Who would think of him as a bad ass?  He could still pound a dude into the mat.  But you wouldn’t think it the first time you saw him or heard his music.

Right now I’m picking out music for the podcast show.  I’m close but can’t figure out what the right feel should be. Since the show is about you (or the men in your life) I want you to have the final say.  I’ve spent over 3 hours listening to 30 second samples and narrowed it down to 3 choices.  Most of it was sentimental crap or too newsy/corporatish.  Ironic since the people I work with are corporate.

However that is the point of the podcast show.  It is time for better way to view work  and life.  To find out what it truly takes have a good life and have work serves us.   Not the other way around. If we keep on going like we have we will end up with a nation of pansy wuss bags and men always wishing for something better but never having the tools or knowledge to make the changes we all desperately need.

Here is what to do:
  1. Listen to the three samples.
2. Vote by commenting below or on facebook.

Thank you everyone who helped and encouraged me in the process.  It has been empowering to hear everyone’s anticipation for the podcast show to come out.  We are close to launching.

This feels like being handed a pile of poo, calling it a road apple and trying really hard to convince you it is a real apple.  This is marketing, PR and branding gone so bad the powers that be have actually convinced themselves their ‘stuff’ smells of roses.

(3rd of 4 part series on how to find a career coach. Back to list of questions to ask.)

I recommend not directly asking if they have balls.  You can if you like.  But your coach needs them.  It is the metaphorical balls they need.  It should be easy to tell when you are out shopping.

Your coach needs to have ballsy edginess to them. (Yes ladies can have these balls. Shoot I’ve seen more women with balls than men of late.  That is another blog post.)

It’s the edginess that communicates I can do what others can not and I’m going to prove it.  The edginess is a positive confidence with challenging honesty.

Pansies do not make good coaches.  “Well that is pretty good…” is not what you want to hear when paying $125 or more an hour with hard-earned money.

You want to hear, “Improvement is needed here, here and here.  This is how we are going to do it.  I won’t let you turn into a wuss and back out.  We can do this.”

Here is another million dollar hint.

Listen to the order and frequency of the pronouns I/Me, You and We when the coach speaks.

Bad coaches say I a lot, You next and hardly ever say “we”.
Pretty good coaches say You, I and sometimes we.
Excellent obsessed coaches say you, we and sometimes I.

An excellent obsessed career coach identifies with their clients and is compelled to make a difference. That is why “we” is said the most by this type.  They believe it IS a team effort.

BTW: Team requires at least two people.

Enough said??

Here is a mistake rookies make.

A cocky attitude does not equate to having the goods. Maverick in the movie Top Gun had a cocky attitude… opps.. Goose is dead.

Epic fail.

I’m proud of Maverick. (As much as one can be of a fictional character). He unlike most people chose to learn from his failure. He did not wallow in his grief forever and become fearful by thinking he would kill somebody else if he started flying again.

Nothing is a failure if you learn the lesson pain has to offer.  Maverick turned epic failure into epic win!

Cocky attitude + I can do everything myself = Dead best friend.
Was change into
Confident attitude +  I can’t do everything myself = Kill shot on enemy.
Not
Wussy attitude + I can’t do anything right = Never flying again out of fear.

What happened to Maverick at the end of the movie? He became a Top Gun instructor… an excellent obsessed coach with the goods.

Don’t make this mistake either.

Misunderstanding can be easy.  Promise me you will not think there is one perfect personality that creates excellent coaches.

There are TONS! of excellent obsessed coaches with a mild manner exterior.  Some of the best absolutely abhor being in the spot light. They are creating space for you to shine.  Notice how it is creating space, not giving up their space. That is their gift to the world.  Take the gift if they offer it.

Only a cocky unconfident attitude says “No thank you. I have to create everything myself.”

Career coaches with balls make guarantees.  Thus you should ask…

Question 4: What guarantee do you offer?

Certification .

Certification does not mean an expert understands the real world.  I know a lot of legal secretaries who know the law better than lawyers.  Have you been practiced on by a medical professional who’s advice defies common sense?  You question their wisdom, but feel obligated to follow it because they are the certified expert.  Then they make you feel like it is your fault you are not ‘fixed’ when you followed their instructions.

Here is a story that explains it all.

In the movie “The Kings Speech” Lionel Logue a washed up actor, coaches soon to be King George VI on how to overcome stuttering. Mr. Logue has no formal training in speech therapy and can’t land a single acting gig.  Logue has success helping people other experts could not fix, and a huge well of proactive compassion.  Days before the coronation Albert “Bertie” and Lionel verbally hash out why there is a lack of progress.

Logue hits the heart of the real issue by tearing through the royal family and sarcastically ridiculing Bertie’s previous panel of medical experts. “They’re all idiots!” Enraged, Bertie lashes back “They’ve been knighted!”

“Makes it official then, doesn’t it?”  Bertie slowly sees for the first time a new perspective he is not the problem.

Good coaches cause you to see your challenges in a new way.  The best ones can do it because they once were you and have overcome the same challenge. Yes this is true for a life coach or career coach.

Street smarts checkmates certificates.

Certifications by themselves are book smarts in perfect world conditions.  What in this world is perfect? The true value you need to look for is a coach who knows the answers to questions books can never contain.  I have nothing against being certified.  It can cut years off the learning curve.  You be wary of any person who expects you to accept credentials as proof of their effectiveness.  So ask, “What makes you qualified?”  If they point to a certificate and smile, thank them kindly for the time and get thee out the door.

When a story appears of struggle, dedication and a commitment to helping you, you want to keep asking questions.  You might have found a winner.

Listen for WHY they are doing what they are doing.  I’ll take a green-horn coach who has their why is in the right place over someone with 10 years experience that believes their certification is self-evident.

Entitlement at any stage is contempt of performance… So you should also ask…

Question 3:  Do you have balls? (Posted: 10/27/11)

The best of the best have tried many approaches and techniques. Their goal is to find what it really takes to create the success their clients need.  No one approach or technique will ever fit a population as a whole.  Different people need different tools. Good coaches will adapt to you.  They will get you out of the hole, by getting in the hole with you.

Some coaches uncover industry secrets through sheer gut effort.  They are self-taught through the school of hard knocks.  Other coaches study books and are mentored by others.  They then go out and apply.

Either type of coach you want to have failed. Hopefully miserably at some point.

It is through failure excellent obsessed coaches appear.  Overcoming and admitting failure creates the humility to believe in you when you can’t believe in yourself.   The other side of failure brings the best insights and solution to problems.  A coach admitting they failed is telling you, you will be alright too. They personally know how to get to the success you need.

If they proclaim to have a perfect track record, run.  They are either ignorant, stagnate or an insecure perfectionist.  They have already failed and have not learned the wisdom you probably need to hear.

Which brings us to…..

Question 2: What makes you good? (Posted 10/25/11)